Secrets of a Navy Wife: Making Adjustments

Money sucks. I wish we didn't have to use money for anything. But unfortunately, we use it for EVERYTHING. And so we always have money problems. Like many military families, and non-military families for that matter, we live paycheck to paycheck. Which makes it hard if things pop up like unexpected medical bills or other expenses. It's not usually that big of a problem when Jon is home. We deal with it and find a way to make things happen. But remember how I told you about the communication problems? Well, that plays a role in the money problem.

You see, when Jon is gone, we have to change how we all live. Jon being gone cuts a little bit of expense out our bills. It cuts down on our grocery bill, gas bill, and "extras" bill (fast food and the like). But not much. But thats not the problem. The problem comes when Jon hits port. Everything overseas is more expensive (at least in the countries they visit). It's almost double what we pay here in the states. So when Jon hits port and asks for money (yes, I give him an allowance), that can be a problem. Because where I can spend 100 in a few weeks on various things, he can spend 300 on taxis, food, tours, etc (or more). So really, when Jon is gone, he can easily spend 2-3 times as much on regular stuff as he would if he were home. Thats where the problem is. And thats where major adjustments have to happen. It means making sacrifices here at home and not doing everything we want to do, so that we make sure Jon has money to do some of the things he wants to do. It means budgeting our groceries and only buying things that are absolutely necessary, so that he can buy some things that aren't as necessary. I'm going to be honest, it's not fun. Sometimes it really sucks.

Making financial adjustments aren't the only adjustments we have to make. Theres adjusting our lives too. And that goes for when he is gone and when he is home. When Jon is gone, we adjust to making extra time to buy stuff to send to him, write letters, make videos, write emails, and keep ourselves busy enough that we don't think about it too much (that part isn't hard considering how busy we are on a normal basis). When Jon gets home, its like making a conscious effort to include him in our lives. Its not that we don't want him to be a part of it. It's just that after 6 months, we've gotten used to doing things alone. So finding things to include him in, make time at home together, and small things like remembering to tell him when we have appointments, parties, and things to do  like errands, is really important. It sounds kind of odd I'm sure, but really its not. It's just something we have to do and we kind of get used to (the getting used to it part sucks, because I don't think anyone should have to get "used" to their spouse being gone).

Other adjustments we make are a little less obvious. Things like not ever going to a couples bible study for instance. Why? Because most of the time, whether home or not, Jon can't attend, which leaves ME alone in a couples bible study. Can you say.....Awkward.....Yep. It means taking the kids with me EVERYWHERE because there is no one home to keep them. And I mean everywhere...grocery store, doctor appointments, parties, movies, you name it. If I can't take them with me, it's either asking yet another favor from a friend to watch them, or paying a babysitter (and that gets expensive). I'm sure there are other things I'm forgetting, but let's face it, I won't be able to list everything anyways.

Please don't get me wrong. I'm not meaning for any of this to sound like complaining. Although it does sound like it. All I'm trying to do is give everyone a little bit of insider information as to what life is like in a military family. I am grateful for the military and the way it has provided a steady job for Jon, healthcare for all of us, and consistent pay during the recession. But it does make things difficult. Thanks for checking out another "Secrets of a Navy Wife". I hope you are a little more educated, or at least a little bit entertained. :)

Love to all,
Mya