Perspective

Perspective. People play a big part in my/your perspective of things. Your past plays a big role too. How your family life was, your friends, school, church and of course all those involve people, not just experiences.

Over the past few months my perspective of my life has shifted. For the better of course. :) But I was thinking about this the other day and thought that it would be good to share my thoughts. If you've known me more than 3 years, then you probably know that I'm not a super positive person. In fact, my nickname was "Debbie Downer" for quite a while because all I could see was what was wrong with situations or what could potentially go wrong. I wasn't sympathetic towards other people's problems, and I wasn't very friendly. I would usually say the first thing that came into my head (which was NEVER a good thing) and usually ended up offending or upsetting someone. I just didn't care. I didn't care what people thought or said about me. I wasn't like this my whole life though. I'd grown bitter and apathetic from years of people talking bad about me to my face or behind my back and basically just being ugly to me (but thats not an excuse, don't get me wrong, I acted the way I did because I chose to, nobody "made" me that way).

Over the past few years I've gotten to become good friends with some really awesome people (you know who you are!). And thanks to them, and their honesty and loving and friendship, my perspective of people, the world, has changed. I've changed the way I see new people. I don't see new people as people who will just turn on me, stab me in the back and destroy my trust. They're just people. People who may need a friend or someone to say something nice to them. I've learned not to say everything that comes to mind. I've learned to hold my tongue (trust me, its a good thing). I don't necessarily lie to people when they ask me things (so don't start thinking I'm lying all the time!), but I'm not as blunt when I speak to people. I've learned to cushion my words if that makes any sense. Sometimes, not saying what comes to my head means not saying anything at all. A lot of times people take my silence as me being angry or upset. It's not. Silence for me means I'm being "nice" by not saying what I'm thinking. Trust me, if I'm angry or upset with you, you will know!

So with all this in mind, I've started to see problems and trials in my life as good things. Do I enjoy them? No, of course not! Who does?! But I've started to see them as growing and learning experiences. We've recently come out of a very long period of trial. We've had a very rough 6 months and its been very difficult. Not one big thing, but tons of small things over a long period. We've made it through these times and its made us a stronger family,  a stronger me, stronger friendships. :) I am so thankful that I have a God who loves and cares for me so much that even when I'm being stubborn and angry with Him, that He would still be waiting when I'm done acting like a 2yr old and come to my senses. Something else I've learned through the past few years is that when you ask God for things, be careful what you ask for! When you ask for patience with your kids, you may get more than you bargained for! Sometimes God gives you things in ways you don't expect. Like patience through dealing with your kids over and over and over again on the same issue. Patience through practice. Not exactly what you think when you sit and pray that God would give you patience. lol. I'm very thankful for my loving husband, kids, and friends who all show more patience with me than I deserve. I'm a slow learner sometimes, but the love, patience and kindness that they show is amazing to me. Thank you all!

Finally I'd like to end with a request for prayer for my friends/neighbors Brian and Jamie. Their almost 3wk old baby boy Caiden is in the Pediatric ICU (NICU) at the Children's Hospital here. The left side of his heart isn't working properly and because of this the right side of his heart is being overworked. They've run blood tests, hear catheters and an MRI. So far blood work is clean, heart cath didn't find anything and the MRI did show some spots/scars on a part of his brain which may be from blood clots. Please pray for them, for their baby boy, for their 3yr old daughter and that God's perfect will and timing in all of this. Thank you friends!

<3 to all!
Mya