Right now our family is going through a lot of changes. Changes can be good, they can also be scary. Especially when you know things are changing for you, but your not sure why.
I hurt my arm last week and have had to take things very slow. If you know me, oh know that I not slow own for anything. Well, I didn't really have a choice because I've been in a sling. I like to do things on my own and I don't like having to ask for help. Especially with everyday things that I should be Ble to do. Well, being one handed, I had to get help. I couldn't lift pans out the oven, fold laundry, or even help my 5yr old properly wash her thick hair. That was a big deal for me to get help. But I was and am so blessed to have friends who care for us and are willing to help. Thank you to those who helped us!
But, I was talking about changes and there I go off topic again. Amara had a good week. Both kids have cell phones, nd I dont know if it's knowing thy can reh us anytime, or just a good week, but so far so good. I also took a break from the choir and band. Playing music/leading worship is something I've always felt called to. Now is no different. But with everything happening in our family, I feel like God is calling me to focus on my family right now. This is hard for me. I love leading worship! I've helped lead worship in some capacity for the past 9 yrs at Liberty. Taking a brek was not in my plans, but apparently it was in God's. And I can't argue with that.
I feel like God has been pulling us away from things. From friends, church activities, things we love. And it's always hard when you leave something behind, but I fel it's even harder when you can't understand why. So I have all the why's and what if's running through my head. Why do I feel like I'm losing my friends? Why do we have to give up oing things we like? What is all this for? Is Sgod preparing us to move away, or just move on? How do I plan or the next school year if we not know here we will be? Do I go ahead like we are staying? Or do I wait? There's so many questions and very few answers. Its frustrating, and frankly there's a lot of times when I'm just angry with God. And I dont think there's anything wrong with being angry at God. He is patient and waits for me to stop throwing my tantrum so that He can speak to me. but I think about my kids when I think of being angry at God. I tell my kids sometimes that when they're angry, I can't speak to them, because they won't listen. And then sometimes, I have to tell them that they just have to wait until they're older, or later, until they will understand why something happened. I feel like that's what God is telling me now. "just wait, be patient. I know you don't understand why this is happening, but I do and I will protect you. Trust Me." but it's hard.
So here we are, in a state of limbo (or so it seems). Waiting on answers. Waiting on God.
Love to all,
Mya
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