Yesterday the girls both got eye exams for the first time. And wonder of all wonders, they both need glasses (like we needed more issues in our household! lol). :/ Turns out that Amara has a slight astigmatism and needs reading glasses, and Tay has a significant astigmatism and needs all the time glasses. They are both excited to be getting glasses and have picked out some cute frames too. Well, Tay is the only one who seems worried about what her friends will think. She's already an anxious/nervous kid anyways, so the thought of her friends laughing at her is bothering her.
I have been reassuring them both (and especially Tay) that their friends will LOVE their glasses and not laugh at them. But it definitely brought back memories of when I was Tay's age and was teased mercilessly. I know what you're thinking, why would anyone tease you Mya? You are cool and awesome! (sarcasm intended). At first it was because I was the only Asian kid (besides my brother) at our very white, private school. As I got older it was other things. Things like having been home-schooled so I was the freakishly smart, socially awkward kid in public school (homeschooling wasn't all that big where we lived). Or being the youngest in my classes (because I was a grade ahead), or because I was short, or, well, you name it! I got teased, picked on and beat up.
Remembering this stuff made me think about how mean kids can be. And how all those sayings that your parents told you growing up were such lies. Like "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" or "what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger". It made me think about how much words really DO mean. And how much words can either build up or tear down. Words can hurt deep within your soul. They can leave emotional scars that you deal with for the rest of your life. Or words can encourage, show love and support. They can be a lasting memory of how much you are loved. With these thoughts floating around in my head, I started thinking about what kind of words I use. Not just with my friends, but with my family, and especially with my kids. Are my words helping or hindering? Am I using my words to build up and encourage my kids, husband, and friends, or am I using my words to cut and hurt? Well truth be told, a little of both. If you asked me a few years back, it would have been that 90% of the time my words were used to hurt people. But now, well, I definitely think a LOT more about the words coming out of my mouth. I am careful to choose my words wisely.
Matthew 12:35 - "A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him."
Matthew 15:11 - "What goes into someone's mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them."
Matthew 15:18-20 - "But the things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart, ad these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts- murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person;"
Ephesians 4:29 - "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
James 3:10 - "Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be."
So here's some food for thought. Are your words building up and encouraging those around you, or are you tearing down those in your life and leaving emotional scars?
-Mya
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