zen

Okay, I know I was very depressing in my last post, but sometimes I get like that. Not every post will be like that, but sometimes I just need to vent, and since Jon isn't here, I gotta let it out somewhere! So now that thats over with...things are better. I feel like I've had my brain washed out and everything is just clear, and easy and not stressed at all. It's a great feeling! Let me go back a little bit.

Saturday I got to go and minister with some people from our church to our community. We've been putting on block parties and giving out food, soda, towels, socks and playing games with the kids. WOW! It was a fantastic time and I was more blessed by them then they were by me I'm sure. In all it was just a great time of hanging out and making friends. :)

Monday I had a semi-meltdown. I ruined another meal (which unfortunately I'm getting used to) which of course upset me. It was a rough day altogether. BUT, the awesome thing was Monday night. I had so much to do that day, I just said we were staying home and getting everything done and not going anywhere. Which was good, but hard. So Monday night after I put the girls to bed I was feeling very overwhelmed and just really feeling Satan's attacks on me. It's always hard when Jon's gone, but this time is so much harder. I've been under a lot of spiritual attack and this past week it all topped out. I literally felt like I was drowning in everything that was going on. So I sat down in my room to fold laundry (boo!) and stopped. I pulled out my bible, turned on some music and just dove into God's word. It felt so wonderful! I felt God lift the burdens, lift the attacks, and just fill me up. I was crying, but it was a relieved "God just rocked my world" kind of cry.

I also got asked to go and do some catering for an event this coming Saturday. I do that sometimes, I cater for this guy I know who owns a catering business. Was I tempted, yes! Money is always a good thing here, because it helps us pay off our debts, duh! But this Saturday theres another block party going on. I had committed to do this months ago, but was thinking about bailing on it. Why did I even think that was right?! I dunno, but God smacked me in the face for it. How dare I try and take away from something God is trying to do! So I told them I couldn't cater because I had to keep a commitment. :) And I'm so glad I did! This weekend is gonna be awesome!

Now we're back to today. Do I still have a ton to do? Yes. That is something that will probably never end. But now I don't feel the weight of those things, I'm not worrying whether the house will get cleaned (because eventually it will), or whether the laundry will get washed, or even whether I ruin yet another meal. Because honestly, it just doens't matter! My kids are happy, they're learning about God and how to serve Him and really, thats all that matters to me. They will get fed somehow. And God will make sure of that for me. So no worries! Spring break is next week and it's going to be such a great week to just relax and have fun! I'm sooooo ready for it. :D

Love! <3 <3 <3